15 Empowered Tips for a Gentle & Personal Cesarean Birth Experience

You may find yourself headed for a cesarean birth, even when that wasn’t your plan. For some families, it’s discussed early due to medical needs. For others, it becomes the best decision during labor—for your safety, your baby’s well-being, or both.

As a long-time birth doula and Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator, I always encourage clients and students to create a gentle cesarean birth plan—even if you’re hoping for a vaginal birth. Why? Because in the U.S., nearly 1 in 3 births are by cesarean. For Black women, that number is often even higher, due to medical bias, systemic inequities, and unnecessary interventions.

And here’s what’s true: A cesarean birth is still your birth. You deserve to feel respected, included, and honored—no matter how your baby enters the world.

These 15 tips will help you shape a cesarean experience that’s gentle, intentional, and centered in love.

1. Ask if you can wait for labor to begin naturally.

If there’s no emergency, you can ask to wait until labor starts on its own. Letting your baby choose their birthday (via water breaking or early contractions) can offer hormonal benefits and support smoother breastfeeding and postpartum recovery. This may not be an option with certain conditions (like placenta previa), but it’s worth discussing.

2. Talk to your baby before surgery.

Take a quiet moment to speak to your baby. Let them know what’s happening, that you're safe, and that you’re excited to meet them. Your calming voice sets the tone, especially in a hospital setting that may feel clinical.

3. Walk into the OR, if possible.

If you’re stable, walking into the operating room instead of being wheeled in can help you feel grounded and empowered. It’s a reminder that this is your body, your birth, and your baby.

4. Ask for two support people.

Some hospitals will allow your partner and a second person—like a doula, friend, or elder. This is especially important if your baby needs immediate care after birth. One support person can go with baby, while the other stays by your side.

5. Personalize the birth environment.

• Bring a calming playlist, affirmations, or even prayer music.

• Ask staff to introduce themselves before surgery starts.

• If you're waiting to learn baby’s sex, ask the team not to announce it—you or your partner can discover it yourselves.

  
  

6. Center your cultural and spiritual needs.

Bring something sacred with you—fabric, beads, a family symbol, or a printed affirmation. For many Black birthing people, connecting to ancestral strength and cultural tradition during birth can be a source of grounding power.

7. Ask about using a clear drape or lowering it at birth.

Many hospitals offer clear drapes or will lower the blue one at the moment of birth if you ask in advance. Seeing your baby being born—if you want to—can be deeply moving.

8. Consider delayed cord clamping.

Even a 30-second delay in cutting the cord (if baby is stable) can give your baby valuable iron-rich blood. This small request can have lasting benefits and is often doable during a cesarean.

9. Prepare for nausea or discomfort.

Bring peppermint oil in a sealed bag to sniff if you feel nauseous. You can also ask for anti-nausea medication if needed—don’t be afraid to speak up for your comfort.

10. Connect with your baby right away.

• Talk, hum, or sing to your baby as soon as they are born.

• Ask your partner to narrate what baby looks like (“She has your nose!”).

• If possible, do skin-to-skin on the operating table with help from your team.

  
  

11. Prioritize early skin-to-skin or chest-to-chest.

Many hospitals now support this, even in the OR. If you’re unable or not ready, your partner can hold baby on their bare chest until you can. This helps regulate baby’s body temperature, heartbeat, and breathing—and supports bonding.

12. Delay non-urgent newborn procedures.

Unless medically necessary, ask for things like weighing, eye ointment, and shots to wait until you’ve had time to bond and breastfeed. Your baby’s first hour should be with you.

13. Choose breastfeeding positions that avoid pressure on your belly.

Try side-lying or the football hold to protect your incision. Ask for lactation support early, especially in hospitals where culturally competent feeding help may not be prioritized for Black families.

14. Ask about surgical preferences that support future births.

• Some providers may allow your uterus to be repaired inside the body (rather than exteriorized), which may reduce pain.

• Ask if they’ll suture in two layers, especially if you may want a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) in the future.

  
  

15. Protect your first hour together.

Once you’re back in your room, ask for quiet time. Limit visitors so you and your baby can settle, rest, and begin breastfeeding. That golden hour is sacred—it only happens once.

Final Thoughts

A cesarean birth is still a birth. You deserve to feel respected, supported, and seen.

By preparing ahead of time, speaking up for your needs, and bringing in your cultural wisdom and spiritual strength, you can shape a birth that’s not just safe—but sacred.

If you’re preparing for a cesarean birth—or want to make sure your birth plan covers all scenarios—I’m here to help. At Birth Connections, we offer childbirth classes, private planning sessions, and doula support for every kind of birth.

Let’s make yours powerful, gentle, and yours.